Happy marriage in later life is usually built less on grand gestures and more on daily support, respect, and affection. As retirement removes pressures like career strain and parenting, many long-term couples learn to argue less and let small irritations pass. Having a history together can really help a couple stay together and deal with the problems that come with getting older.
People often make the mistake of thinking a happy marriage is all about grand gestures and lavish gifts, but it’s the small things that count. Long-term relationships are more likely to be successful when couples experience meaningful companionship on a daily basis.
Love in later years means dealing with unprecedented challenges. Sure, breaking out of the 9-5 schedule is exciting, but spending so much more time with your spouse can seriously affect emotional intimacy in aging.
The things that annoy you about your spouse feel like they’re turned up to 11. Let’s look at some effective senior couples advice for those in Greenville, SC, dealing with these changes.
Happy Marriage in Old Age
According to Paul R. Amato and Alysse ElHage, marriages often improve in old age. While couples often experience a dip in marriage satisfaction after the initial honeymoon period is over, those who stick it out tend to be rewarded for their persistence and commitment.
Couples over 70 are more likely to have a happy marriage because they’ve experienced life’s challenges together. While senior relationships lack intensity compared to those of younger people, they make up for it by making each other feel respected and safe.
There’s Less Pressure
A huge part of marriages getting happier in later life is because there’s much less pressure. Just think about all the stress you have to deal with in adult life:
- Parents are responsible for raising and caring for their children for around two decades.
- Most adults worry about what their future life will look like, and might agonize over making the right choices.
- Working adults tend to focus on furthering their careers, often neglecting things like hobbies and relationships in the process.
When retirement comes around, these worries aren’t relevant anymore. Your career is over and done with, the kids are all grown up, and most of the decision-making is in the past. By now, you’re living with the choices you’ve made.
Less Marital Conflict
According to Yasmin Anwar, couples who stay together long-term tend to fight significantly less than couples in the early stages of marriage.
The lack of pressure means you’re less likely to fight with your spouse. Couples often argue about things like whose career they should prioritize or how to raise the kids. With those things in the past, couples over 70 can settle down and enjoy each other’s company like never before.
But, there’s more to it than that. Old age also leads to a change in perspective. Those who were hotheaded and argumentative in their youth sometimes end up being the most willing to let small irritations pass.
They’ve had so many pointless arguments in their younger years that they have developed high-level emotional coping skills. They’re good at judging which topics are worth a difficult conversation and which are not.
Shared History Becomes a Valuable Asset
It’s easier to control your emotions when you have experience. Emotional intelligence is a skill just like playing the guitar or oil painting. Learning your first guitar chords and changing between them feels impossible initially, but with years of experience, you don’t even have to think about it.
When you’ve gotten through impossible life situations and hard and depressing years with your spouse at your side, you know you can handle all the challenges retirement can throw at you.
For example, maybe you have to make financial sacrifices to pay for memory care. If you survived living in your car for a couple of weeks to make ends meet during your 20s, sacrificing a few non-essentials doesn’t seem so bad.
Frequently Asked Questions
What’s the Secret to Years of Happy Marriage?
While every marriage is different, the couples who stay happy through the years are usually those who know how to stay positive, even in assisted living. Grand romantic gestures have their place, but real life isn’t Love Actually. The euphoria of even the most transient romantic gesture certainly won’t make up for years of negativity and grumpiness.
Negative daily interactions will grind down your spouse, leading to resentment and eventually divorce.
Here are some simple ways you can keep your marriage going strong:
- Moments of connection: Consistency is key, so make sure every day has a few shared jokes, warm glances, or brief moments of intimacy.
- Shared humor: Inside jokes and humor that references shared history can defuse tension and lift spirits during difficult moments.
- Accept each other: Everyone has their flaws, and a huge part of a happy marriage is learning to accept your partner’s shortcomings.
What Is the #1 Thing That Destroys Marriages?
There’s nothing that will destroy a marriage in the long term like a lack of appreciation. When one or both partners feel like their efforts are not recognized and that their contributions to the marriage are not valued, it makes stressful moments much harder to stomach, particularly in those times when the unappreciative partner is at fault.
According to research from the University of Illinois, people who feel appreciated by their spouse are likely to report high relationship satisfaction, and they feel a greater sense of commitment. The research also suggests that feeling appreciated makes couples less susceptible to arguing and feeling financial pressure.
Experience a Happy Marriage in a Supportive Community
Ultimately, a happy marriage in later life depends on shared history and consistent daily kindness. Through consistent appreciation, couples can enjoy a fulfilling retirement filled with companionship and lasting emotional security.
Here at TerraBella Summit, we take over the mundane tasks like chores and maintenance so you can focus on enjoying your golden years together.
You also won’t need to worry about doing groceries and preparing meals. Instead, residents enjoy chef-prepared meals and tableside service in our Sensations dining room.
If you’re interested in learning more about our Greenville, SC community, we’d be delighted to set up a tour. Contact us, and let’s set a date.
