Caring for someone with dementia is challenging. The emotional and mental toll on you and your loved ones is significant. However, understanding “What should you not do with dementia?” can make a massive difference in the quality of care and your relationship. Here are vital things you should never do to someone with dementia.
Never Argue or Confront
One of the most important things to remember when caring for someone with dementia is never to argue or confront them. Dementia affects memory, reasoning and cognitive functions, making it difficult for your loved one to process and understand complex conversations.
Arguing with them or trying to prove them wrong will only lead to frustration and distress. Instead, focus on creating a calm and supportive environment. Redirect conversations if necessary, and always prioritize their emotional well-being over winning an argument.
Avoid Asking Them to Remember
Memory loss is a hallmark of dementia. Asking someone with dementia to recall past events, names or details can be incredibly frustrating and even embarrassing for them. It’s like asking someone visually impaired to describe something they can’t see.
Instead of asking them to remember, provide gentle cues or move on if they can’t recall something. Your loved one’s sense of dignity is more important than any forgotten information.
Don’t Take Their Words Personally
Dementia can cause changes in personality and behavior. Your loved one might say things that are hurtful or out of character. It’s essential not to take these words personally. Remember that their behavior is a symptom of the disease, not a reflection of their true feelings toward you.
Don’t Overwhelm Them With Choices
Making decisions can be overwhelming for someone with dementia. Offering too many options or asking them to make complex decisions can lead to confusion and anxiety. Simplify their choices as much as possible.
For example, instead of asking, “What would you like for dinner?” you could say, “Would you like chicken or fish tonight?” This approach helps reduce stress and allows them to feel more in control without becoming overwhelmed.
Never Isolate or Ignore Them
Social isolation can worsen the symptoms of dementia and lead to depression. It is essential to keep your loved one engaged in social activities and regularly interacting with them. Ignoring them or leaving them alone for extended periods can lead to feelings of loneliness and abandonment. Your presence and attention are crucial to their emotional well-being, even if they don’t always respond as expected.
Avoid Correcting or Contradicting
Correcting someone with dementia when they say something inaccurate is not helpful. Contradicting them can lead to confusion, frustration and even anger. For instance, if your loved one insists that they have an appointment when they do not, rather than correcting them, gently redirect the conversation to another topic or offer a comforting response.
Don’t Force Them to Do Something They Don’t Want to Do
Forcing someone with dementia to participate in activities or follow routines against their will can be distressing for them. If they resist an activity or task, try to understand the root of their discomfort and approach the situation with empathy. You may need to try a different approach or simply wait and revisit the task later. Patience and flexibility are crucial to avoiding unnecessary conflict and stress.
Don’t Neglect Physical Comfort and Safety
Physical comfort and safety are critical when caring for someone with dementia. Neglecting these aspects can lead to discomfort, injury or worsening of symptoms. Ensure your loved one is always comfortable, whether sitting, lying down or moving around.
Ensure their environment is safe and free from hazards that could lead to falls or accidents. Regularly check in on their physical needs, such as hunger, thirst and toileting, to ensure they are well cared for.
Never Make Them Feel Ashamed of Their Condition
Dementia is a condition that comes with significant challenges, and it’s essential to approach it with compassion. Making your loved one feel ashamed or embarrassed about their memory loss or behavior will only add to their distress. Avoid any language or behavior that could be perceived as judgmental or condescending. Instead, focus on bringing support that they are valued, regardless of their condition.
Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself
While caring for a loved one with dementia, it’s easy to neglect your own needs. However, caregiver burnout is a natural and severe issue affecting your ability to provide quality care. Make sure to take time for yourself, seek support from others and don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed.
Avoid Overwhelming Them With Information
People with dementia often have difficulty processing information, especially when it is presented simultaneously. Avoid overwhelming them with too much information or complex instructions. Break things down into small, manageable steps and give them time to process your words.
Don’t Dismiss Their Feelings
Dismissing or minimizing the feelings of someone with dementia can lead to frustration and a communication breakdown. Even if their feelings seem irrational or unfounded, it’s essential to acknowledge them and respond with empathy.
For example, if your loved one expresses fear or anxiety, rather than dismissing it, offer comfort and reassurance. Their emotions are natural, and validating them can help them feel supported and understood.
Never Assume They Can’t Understand You
It’s a common misconception that people with dementia can’t understand what’s happening around them. While their ability to process and respond to information may be impaired, it’s important to continue communicating with them respectfully and meaningfully.
Speak, maintain eye contact and use body language to convey your message. Don’t talk about them as if they aren’t there; always include them in conversations.
Providing Compassionate Care for Your Loved Ones
Caring for someone with dementia requires patience, understanding and a willingness to adapt to their changing needs. By avoiding these common mistakes, you can create a more supportive and compassionate environment for your loved one. Remember, the key to successful caregiving is not just what you do but also what you choose not to do.
We understand the challenges of caring for a loved one with dementia. That’s why we’re here to offer support and guidance every step of the way. Our Assisted Living community is dedicated to providing compassionate care and a safe environment for your loved ones. Contact us today to learn more about the services and amenities we offer.
