If you’re the parent of an older adult showing signs of dementia, it’s natural to want to get them into a safe and supportive environment as soon as possible. However, this isn’t always an easy task. Many people with dementia are adamant about staying at home and don’t want to be told what they can or cannot do (even if doing so will make their life easier). If this describes your situation, then here are some tips on how to approach the subject of touring memory care communities:
Give Them Options
When your aging parent is reluctant to tour a memory care community, you have to give them options. You can’t force them to go, and they’ll have to be willing to visit at least one of the communities that you choose for them.
If they are open to touring a community, offer some options (in person or over the phone). You might say, “I’d love for us both to get out of the house today! There are three places nearby that provide great care for people with Alzheimer’s disease. Which one do you want me to take you?”
Be Patient And Reassuring
As you navigate this difficult time, it’s essential to remain calm and reassuring. It can be tempting to get frustrated or angry when your parent refuses to tour a memory care community, but that is not the way to go about things. Instead of raising your voice or becoming upset, try speaking to them in a gentle tone of voice. You should also avoid using phrases like “you’re acting childish,” “it’s time for bed now,” or “you need help.” This will only make things worse and make them feel more confused about what’s going on around them. Instead of trying to reason with them (which won’t work anyway), remember that they are scared and confused at this point in their lives-so try not too hard!
Be Honest About Their Condition
They may be adamant about staying at home, but getting them to tour a few memory care communities is always worth the effort. The more you know about the community and its services, the better prepared you’ll be when the time comes for your loved one to move into assisted living or another type of community.
If your parent refuses to tour any memory care communities and continues making plans for life at home–even though they’re no longer able to live independently–it’s time to consider other options like hospice care.
 Don’t Show Up Unannounced
This can be a stressful experience, and it’s not fair to your parent or the care team. If they expect you and have time to prepare, that’s different.
But keep in mind that when touring a memory care community with more than one person present, everyone needs an appointment so the team can prepare for the visit in advance (and ensure there is enough space). Don’t just show up at an independent living community either-that can also be overwhelming on its own! Also, keep in mind that privacy is essential in these settings.
Try Again Later (Or Tomorrow).
It’s important to remember that your parent may be experiencing some anxiety about the move or could just be having a bad day. If they’re not ready to tour today, try again tomorrow or later in the week! They may also need more time with their current living situation before making significant decisions about moving.
Conclusion
Take it from us: it’s worth the effort. We know that it can be challenging to convince your loved one to tour a memory care community, but it’s so important to do so. If you’re worried about how to approach this topic or what else might help ease the transition for both of you, don’t hesitate to call us anytime!
