The decision to move your mom into a memory care community often comes from a place of love and the desire to provide her with the best care possible. As this journey begins in the world of memory care living in Spartanburg, NC, one of the crucial aspects to focus on is maintaining and even strengthening your bond through effective communication. While it might seem daunting, here are six essential steps to navigate this path with love and grace.
Recognize the Impact of Memory Loss
Understanding the profound effects of memory loss is the foundational step in building successful communication. In the realm of diseases like Alzheimer’s and other dementias, memory loss isn’t just about forgetting names or misplacing items. It encompasses a spectrum of cognitive disruptions, ranging from difficulty recalling recent events to challenges with language, problem-solving, and sometimes even recognizing familiar faces.
Beyond the clinical aspects, these changes can be emotionally taxing, both for the individual and their loved ones. When your mom forgets a cherished shared memory or struggles to articulate a thought, it isn’t a mere oversight. It’s the manifestation of physical changes happening within her brain.
For family members, it might feel disheartening or even frustrating when these lapses occur. Yet, recognizing that these aren’t deliberate acts of neglect or indifference can help. This insight enables you to see beyond the disease, to the person underneath, who still craves connection, love, and understanding.
Simplify Your Communication
Efficient communication with someone experiencing memory impairment often means breaking down complex thoughts into more digestible pieces. As cognitive functions evolve, what once was a simple task, like understanding a question or processing an idea, can become challenging. Thus, clarity becomes paramount in your conversations.
Using concise sentences, devoid of jargon or unnecessary details, can minimize potential confusion. For instance, if discussing plans for the day, instead of explaining every activity in depth, highlighting the key events can be more effective. This strategy ensures that the most important information is conveyed without overwhelming her.
Moreover, your tone and pacing matter significantly. A calm, gentle tone can put her at ease, making her more receptive. On the other hand, speaking too rapidly can make it harder for her to keep up, potentially leading to misunderstandings or feelings of distress.
It’s also beneficial to ensure you have her attention before diving into a conversation. A simple touch on the arm or calling her name can help center her focus. Overall, simplifying your communication isn’t about “dumbing down” the conversation, but about adapting to her current cognitive capacities to foster meaningful interactions.
Create a Comfortable Environment
The setting can significantly influence communication. If your mom feels comfortable and safe, she’s more likely to open up and engage. Consider visiting during times when she’s most alert and active. Reducing background noises, like a blaring TV or radio, can also help in minimizing distractions. When you visit her in the retirement community, choose cozy, well-lit areas of the community where she feels most at ease. Your presence and the surrounding environment should invoke feelings of warmth and familiarity.
Actively Listen and Show Empathy
Active listening is not just about hearing words, but also about understanding and interpretation. Pay attention to her body language and facial expressions. Sometimes, these nonverbal cues can convey much more than words. If she’s struggling to find a word or phrase, resist the urge to finish her sentences unless she looks to you for help. Always show empathy, even if you’ve heard the same story multiple times. This reinforces that she’s valued and loved.
Use Therapeutic Fibbing When Necessary
It is not uncommon for those with memory impairments to lose track of time or become upset about past events. In such instances, insisting on factual accuracy might cause more harm than good. Therapeutic fibbing is a gentle way to divert or deflect from a potentially distressing topic. For instance, if she’s awaiting a visit from a deceased family member, instead of confronting her with the painful truth, you might say, “He’s a bit busy today but sends his love”. This approach helps to soothe and comfort without causing unnecessary distress.
Celebrate Small Successes
Every successful conversation, no matter how brief or seemingly insignificant, is a testament to your enduring bond. Celebrate these moments. Maybe it’s a shared laugh over a memory or simply holding hands in silent understanding. These moments matter. As you navigate this journey together, remembering the value of these little successes can offer solace and encouragement.
Building and maintaining a strong communication line with your mom in a memory care community requires patience, understanding, and adaptation. The landscape of her memories might be changing, but the love and bond you share remain constant.
